Established Marvel : a Monk by Abbreviation

193. 'LET YOUR INDULGENCE SET ME FREE':

A B-52 bomber with some young punk-air-force kid behind the controls dropping five thousand pounds of ordnance on the little people unknown down below - in 1969 that was not really any big deal : bags of fire supersonic matrix modems bringing all the one-village world bullshit toge her into one place one grand ante-room of the flying-fuck dead awaiting a visitation like the holy land itself holding out a hand for deliverance and only now today years later when the freak-fog has cleared and the little people anew are seen to be bastard politicians and weasel-mouthed toadies of corporate infringement do you realize that NO LONGER do they just drop bombs upon the earth NOW they drop them (and have well succeeded) deep in people's heads and the entire world has gone crazy frenetic and sour - grabbing and getting in a frenzy as all around them everywhere it all crumbles back to Hell - the Devil rules this roost as the Devil always has - and the only answer is death DEATH to the rulers and death to the subjugated and it's all the same just different by degrees : and it used to be that wisdom could be found in the mind maybe of some kid in the back-room of some library somewhere in the hinterlands of a God-Forsaken little hillbilly town in the deep wilds of modern America (if such a place even exists in real-time anymore) but that's all gone and the only place kids like that live today is in some virtual-time/place of a zero-zone uncalibrated value-free existence - the kids come in whistling some worldwide tune and tyring to induce vomit from the shallow interior of their minds wherein they go home to find nothing because there's often nothing there and I recall the ante which I once upped but ruined walking along the street in dirtied painter-paints splattered with all the abstract-expressionist Jackson Pollack art I could ever want IF I wanted it and alongside me like in some dream comes my father dead all these years but driving the after-work car and he stops to take me in and I go in and all this endless walk to nowhere stops and he just drives and keeps talking talking about something I couldn't grasp and the horror lives with me yet today all these years later too - the horror of no amends never making peace the horrid ruins of a family wreckage probably caused by me nobody speaking nobody talking everybody mute and I know I could walk the whole entire world and never leave my regrets or my fears or my awkwardness and trembling and tumbling towards the featureless future within me and without and the fusion-memory the rooftop sessions waiting for trains to pass and suns to set and mystery dreams to dissolve or coagulate around me - the curve in the road the Route 14 angle of the highway ahead is all my entire life and all that's left too (at one and the same time) and I know I have lost it missed it all distressed it abandoned it out west somewhere and all I want to do now is go on and read and think it over and not produce another God-damned thin in my entire life just so that in the silence predicted I could watch the ending and see the film and observe the Nobodaddy curtain come flaming down over all time and all places and all people...and I ask you Sir at what point did YOU stop caring and realize there was NO meaning anywhere and you deign to answer (DO YOU? - I will wonder that forever): 'No longer mourn for me when I am dead...lest the wise world should look into your sorrow and mock you with it and with me after I am gone' - so sayeth the world entire but only in quiet solitude the sort that comes from endless graveyard and churchyard thought as it goes on and as it grows and as the newer light arises from the dawn so they say as in some form of prayer: 'release me from my bands with the help of your good hands ! gentle breath of yours must fill me sails or else my project fails - which was to please - and NOW I want spirits to enforce art to enchant and my ending is despair unless I be reliev'd by prayer which pierces so that it assaults mercy itself and frees all faults as you from crimes would pardoned be and let your indulgence set me free and my ending in YOUR beginning be!'