Established Marvel : a Monk by Abbreviation

155. THE INTERVIEW AT BROADHURST - ('but anyway doctor'):

"Somehow I knew it had to come to this I tried I really tried ('look doctor I'm really depressed - I'm shot but I'm just gonn'a go on and talk') and I hoped too it would have worked out differently but it didn't and I never knew what liars were until that moment : the guy sends me publicity photos of some fucking oceanfront hotel and claims they're his and the view is his and then he sends some stupid-ass picture of a barber with some lame-shit TV star in the chair and claims this is 'his' barber too haircutter to the stars and all that - this for some bald-headed old weasel who perhaps might occasionally need a trim around the edges that a moron could do and then he sends some publicity photo of some plain-jane woman in 8x10 business glossy dress and he expects me to buy the story too that this famed jewess is his 'partner' - another bad use of a bad word - and that she's mad at me no less for a pronounced anti-Semitism from her days back in Kansas City when she witnessed anti-Jew codes and the discrimination that went with it : (I want to think God's calling out for something to fulfill Itself - yet it is not this) : and I feel like I'm baring my soul to a killer a madman someone at the least ready to act upon me with a meat-cleaver if he could : it's always everything adversarial like a mean game of chess being played and the check-mate stakes are death or ruination or oblivion but I don't know what I ever did to this guy but ANYWAY DOCTOR it's always been like this - I remember this character back in 1968 leaving forged letters in my possession - he'd written a note attesting to his fine credentials and academic achievements so as to gain some admittance to Boston University and he'd typed this on a letterhead he'd purloined from (of all places) a small local law firm named 'Rabb and Zeitler' the 'Rabb' of which was soon later disbarred by the late 70's - two shyster lawyers on the fuss and on the make - and what always baffled me was why this idiot would figure to use a 'lawyer' as his character witness or even his 'reference' for academic purposes : and the funny thing was to boot that this creep never saw the inside of a University for real in any capacity except stealth and duplicity anyway and another time he mis-represented himself as an attorney for the wives of Rahway Prison inmates who were having a prison revolt or riot or hostage situation of some sort and he was eventually arrested and taken away for that one - no lawyer no real role no representation just some Channel 7 9 or 11 creep who stuck a microphone in his face and got a few minutes of footage on THIS lie today's lie the LIE OF THE WEEK ('such fame is short such fame is fleeting - so goes the heart the world is beating') and another time he's arrested and convicted too of breaking into Newark City Hall by some illicit means of mis-representation and stealing some evidence to 'blow the whistle' on some guy but the guy later turns out to have been the brother-in-law of the Mayor or something and he gets protected and this guy gets arrested and convicted and does some small prison time but he comes back from the incarceration later telling of the condition in jail ('the soup was bad man the conditions were terrible - when they call it pea soup in prison that's just what they mean - you get water and A PEA - oh and yeah there's a LOT of contact with the Deity in prison' - he told me that sitting in a car overlooking foul Sewaren Bay) and then his mother says it wasn't so much jail as psychiatric lock-up and then she says 'he can't tell the difference between fantasy and what's real anymore - he's going to need a lot of help' - [now tell me doctor tell me AM I WRONG to want to wipe him off the map to be done with this forever I should have NEVER reintroduced myself into his crap] -- and thus that young man riding in the train wearing a cross leaves a great wedge and a blemish like his mind - I wish to say to him 'I want to know if there's enough room in the universe for your anus (Uranus) you asshole' and he'd look back at me and talk shit like 'I'd be pushing out mud for days' if I ate that stuff and I say to the nasty waiter with a bad mood 'I see you've got the rudiments of table service down pat - with the emphasis on 'rude'' : and I order lobster risque - presented to me by girls in very revealing outfits so that I have to JUST HAVE TO say 'thanks' and the doctor turned and said 'what is it you are studying?' and I say 'I want to be an Updike scholar I'm starting with 'Of the Farm' and 'the Poorhouse Fair' and I'm gunning right through it all : and also I'm studying the ways of American culture using first Schlosser and Fast Food Nation as an example and instead of intellectual discourse all I see are my own ancient Hebraic self-destructive tendencies from within - insidious contrarians and a race from inside which first uses then sets-up and then destroys each function of a working society and NO WONDER they end up outcast and hated and aimless and wandering - especially as they make the characteristics unspoken and unmentionable ('reverential holocausts') - and just as extremities on old statues are always broken off so are all their myths and selective small tribal creeds - chosen people nomadic nitwits and all the rest but the fact is THEY DON'T EXIST and they're all small Eastern Europeans now claiming their ways and just like those statues NOTHING'S whole everything's sundered and broken off and they demand fealty alone to their own myths and stories - you CANNOT criticize them don't you see ! and this is the SAME guy who stole a high-school bullshit patriotism speech and won a prize who plagiarized an old Chinese poem line for line and had it printed as by him in a literary yearbook who tried to steal another guy's poem about 'My Friend Frank the Telephone Pole' but got caught instead and never settled up who was expelled from the Capuchin Seminary along the Hudson River up above Bear River Bridge for cheating on the Regent's Exam - so you see I really never knew what to do about any of this - and it does go on from here - crazy stories about money-management huge sums great earnings in movie investments and films and hobnobbing with the stars and some guy Devaney and all the rest and eventually QUICKLY! it rather all ran me down and everything I did showed how he'd done really nothing I was speechless and he was not : a complete fop and a scoundrel too I couldn't disentangle myself from the mess he'd erected around me so I just stopped - it was either that DOCTOR or murder you see - some people just don't deserve to live - like THIS guy who once called himself 'Freighter Aleck' - pronouncing the monkish Frater title as 'freighter' (instead of 'Frahter' the Latin Frater for 'Brother') and it wasn't even his title to give himself he just tried stealing that too - the Capuchin Monkey that he was and if this was ever America to him ('Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Crappiness') I'd bet he wouldn't have known it because for that to be there at least has to be some substance but there's not NOTHING and it's all fantastic gibberish a gutter in the brain a chalice for a mouth but out of which comes words not blood and words alone are what hoist him up to the rafters from which he hangs : confusion ? I think not : and then I simply started babbling - 'where does a sports memorabilia collector put his Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse (both dressed as Yankees and Mets respectively) character dolls out for display at home ? why where else but on the Mickey Mantle and every time I hear the name Frank Zappa I think of a guy with a hot dog and a microwave and every time I hear the name Peter Sellers I think of dildo salesmen and a skeleton walks into a bar and says 'give me a beer...and a mop' and in the middle of all this - as it was - I lived in a single crowded room amongst the great treasures of my own personal 'career' - art which went nowhere but defined me by its being..I stayed close to 1st street by a place called 'Naked Lunch' later called the 'Sidewalk Cafe' and I never thought I'd be there but I was - and all this while the crummy doctor just smiled and kept scribbling away" and that's pretty much the exact transcript as I recall it being written.