Established Marvel : a Monk by Abbreviation

101. WHAT IS IT YOU WANTED I SHOULD SAY TO YOU?

'Fuck I hate this world and I can't seem to get anywhere and that's the craziest deadening feeling of all - that no matter what happens I'm always just out of sequence or off-time by a step and no matter how I continue to do my own work it inevitably misses the mark of anything bigger' : what was that ! I thought to myself as I approached the staggering voice because I was actually afraid the guy was about to begin crying or something and I'd seen this stuff before and read numerous accounts of desperate people breaking down or going off on themselves with some stupid spree or eventually mutilating or killing themselves over what they took as profound disappointment but which was really nothing at all and much like Religion itself they too seemed always to start off with the premise that 'something is wrong' and thus were always predisposed already from the start to find fault with reason or a reason for fault - whichever way it was phrased it meant something negative for them and to them and by which they'd trounce complacency and be done with pleasure and constancy and instead end up crazed and demented on some legendary quest for a 'rightness' and 'justice' only they could see - look about us everywhere and see the results of that - but there wasn't anything sensible I could say nor really wanted to as I simply watched as he talked - and it was really too bad too because I KNEW there was a satisfaction present - in everything - if only he'd try to achieve it and like Buddha had observed 'it is what cannot be spoken in words but that whereby words are spoken...what cannot be thought with the mind but that whereby the mind can think' and this goodness of a Godness could not be fathomed out by reason but only 'revealed' to us by an experience which cannot be expressed in words or concepts - it is impossible to make something like this a mere object of thought and for that reason I felt sorry for him while yet silently wishing him well on his journey or quest or for that matter his own personal disaster - all his deal NOT mine.