Established Marvel : a Monk by Abbreviation

12. I WANT SOME ATTENTION- DID I MENTION?

I'm getting pretty tired of silence - like some Almaretto Lady of Lourdes or something where the intense silence is supposed to be more important itself than whatever it is that is happening and miracles or apparitions or any of that sidewinder bullshit crap turns out to be movies played out on a cum-soiled sheet and the darkness of the room was only to cover the bad evidence of gloom I WANT TO FUCKING HEAR THINGS!! people names words comments reactions actions : I want a gunman at my door I want the Seventh Cavalry with Jesus Armstrong Custer in the lead just back from Iraq throwing bombs in the fedoras or Fallujahs or whatever the hell all that is I want ten little Indians of mercantile fame and Dutch East India Company heterosexual fat women cooking me five different kinds of beaded bread I want the radio station camped outside I want a church built on my God-damned holy fucking front lawn!! How's that for attention-getting. I want to be buried in a swamp with Whistler's Mother in attendance. I want Ezra Pound to throw batting-practice balls to my happiness in bloom. Get it? Can you? Do you? Everywhere I go I'm thinking of You! or of Where I'm Going! or of What Was Here Yesterday!

I write these stories NOT for the glories but for the resounding thud of the echo of night they bring in the long descending twilight of my germinated factoid seed and the tenth caller this morning will get my broken-down five-wheeled painted orange Lincoln Continental tractor - to have and to keep for the VERY REST of their ill-starred life.

Now I've said all that. It's your turn now. I never wanted to learn the meaning of meaning but somehow the corner's been shown to me - should I make that right to Paradise itself or stay left and meet YOU in the gloaming? Oh Stephen Jaybird Foster, where are you now?

...and a FOOTNOTE referencing John Brown:

[ 'All through this ordeal in my head I was thinking too of John Brown John Brown and no one else - except that I had supplanted the slavery of blacks on their plantation quarters with a greater slavery of mankind in general and Americans in particular - those who were citizens of the US of A and were still dangling from their well-stretched necks by the callous rope of coercion and indifference PURE AND PICKLED and made prideful by it all the same and the fiery torch of Right and Reason stormed the fronted barricades a'la John Brown and his fearsome crew and everything went wordless by and only the screams were heard - the hue and the cry - the open-ended native voice searching for : WHY WHY WHY!' ]